Fish out of water

My partner Teresa is a very talented curtain and loose cover maker. My illustration work has been very quiet lately so I agreed to help her install some curtains she'd made at one of her clients houses. I was under strict instructions to look like I knew what I was doing. I am not very practical so going onto a building site and trying to look like I was comfortable in that environment was impossible. I don't look or sound like a builder.

As soon as we arrived the client started talking to me about the construction of the walls and where I might have problems with fixings. My face must have been a picture. I had no idea what language he was speaking and tried desperately to say the right things but I know I looked like a startled rabbit caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck. I could sense Teresa thinking "oh my god" and my scalp started tingling. I just hoped he would go away soon before I burst out laughing and gave the game away.

Later when we got down to work we both kept humming the Laurel and Hardy theme tune 'cos any second I expected to either fall off the ladder, fall through the window, drive a screw through a water pipe or drill through my hand.

Think I'll stick to cartooning.